What should the customer know about your pricing (e.g., discounts, fees)?
The standard fee for most officiants is at least $250 and then increasing depending on the size and scope of the wedding.
Some people will try to be more competitive by deeply undercutting other vendors on websites like Thumbtack. My fee ranges from $150 for a short, simple and intimate ceremony with the spouses and a handful of others, but for larger weddings I range between $500 and $800.
This includes, consultations, helping with the ceremony itself, and my travel (within 75 miles, mileage fees for anything beyond) and signing the license. I also take cash, check, or credit.
With me you are getting an experienced professional, and on your special day you should expect no less. In short, I am someone who you can trust and who will also make the both of you look great on that day that is all about you.
What is your typical process for working with a new customer?
My job is to make your life easy. Most people are involved with the planning of one wedding, I am your guide to help you through that process.
With me, you get someone really flexible, creative, affirming, and collaborative.
We will start by setting up a phone call, video chat, or meeting at a coffee shop.
Before we meet, I will get you two sample ceremonies to review.
When we meet I will ask you about your ideal wedding, some things about the both of you, and help craft a ceremony that will represent the best of you both and will be a day that will live long in the happy memories of everyone who attended.
For those looking for something less intensive, I will email you the ceremonies for you to choose one, have a brief conversation, and show up where and when you need me.
What education and/or training do you have that relates to your work?
I have been a Humanist Celebrant since 2006. I have been officiating non-religious wedding ceremonies for almost 20 years and have done around 300 of them.
I have a background in the performing arts and I teach college, so I talk for a living.
How did you get started doing this type of work?
In the mid 2000's there was a lack of secular officiants in the region. I was running a local secular humanist group and I became a Humanist Celebrant to fill in this role.
While the number of Humanist Society secular officiants and other similarly credentialed individuals has increased, I remain one of the most experienced, and longest serving secular officiants in Southern California.
What types of customers have you worked with?
I am here to help anyone who needs wedding services have their dream wedding. While I work with all types of couples, those that most commonly seek me out are non-religious/Humanist couples, same-sex couples, and couples seeking non-denominational services.
Describe a recent project you are fond of. How long did it take?
I save the day.
Less of a recent project, but one that I am quite fond of. A while back a wedding planner contacted me saying that she had a couple that she wanted to have me officiate for. While she said that she would be getting back to me, she didn't.
Months later I received a call from an anxious bride who was concerned that her wedding was the next day we had not yet spoken. I apologized saying that it was my oversight and that I was there to help. I got her a couple of sample ceremonies to choose from and asked for the address of the venue (the beach on the bay side of Coronado).
The next day at the wedding, the couple told me that they wanted a sand ceremony included. I was able to improvise the addition off the top of my head.
These newer wedding rituals tend to be done by combing a special, colored sand. The couple however, wanted to take theirs from the beach.
The bride reached down, scooped up some dry sand from the top layer, poured it through a funnel, and the sand flowed easily into a jar.
As I talked about how the sand represented their connection, mingling, melding together into one form to add their best to the whole, the groom reached down and scooped up some damp sand.
As he poured it into the funnel, it clumped, clogged, and came to a halt.
This moment of tension could have proved disastrous.
Quickly I thought on my feet: "As the sand represents your love, and love in general, we are reminded of a valuable lesson--sometimes love requires patience."
The couple, the wedding party, and the entire assembled body of guests all burst into raucous laughter.
If there is a problem, I make sure that it is fixed. If there is something that goes wrong, I smooth it out on the fly and make it memorable and endearing. Weddings are stressful enough-that is why I am your ideal officiant. I make sure that when something goes awry (and every wedding has enough moving parts that if only one thing goes awry, you are ahead of the game), that you either don't notice it, or it becomes a cherished memory that you are still looking back at years later with laughter and love.
What advice would you give a customer looking to hire a provider in your area of work?
• Don't skimp on the cost, don't value shop. You have already presumably spent thousands of dollars, sometimes tens of thousands on venue, invitations, catering, wedding planner, musicians, videographer, etc. The officiant is an incredibly important part of the ceremony. They can make or break a wedding.
• Find someone who you are comfortable with who matches your values. Only hire an officiant that you feel compatible with. You are going to have a lot going on that day. You are going to be exhausted from getting everything together worried about Aunt Louise not being able to sit with her ex husband, the wedding planner is going to be driving you nuts, the flowers didn't get in on time, you are busy getting barraged by calls from your high school friends who just got back into town saying that they are going to see you tomorrow... You want your officiant to be the one person who is going to be in your corner, being the one person you don't have to worry about and the one who you know that when you are up there in front of your friends and family is going to have your back and make you look GREAT!
• Find an officiant that has solid reviews.
• Meet with your officiant either in person or in video before you hire them. Get to know them and let them get to know you. Our job is to facilitate one of the most important moments in your lives.
What questions should customers think through before talking to professionals about their project?
• What type of wedding are you looking to have, small and simple, big and grandiose?
• How long do you want the ceremony to be. Ideally it should be around 15 minutes. 15-20 minutes is the sweet spot.
• How much collaboration are you looking to have? Some couples prefer to have very little input and others are interested in all the bells and whistles. Look for someone who is flexible enough to do both, but also no more and no less than you want.
• What involvement of family and friends would you like to have in the ceremony? Is cousin Ruth going to be singing "From this moment" as you exchange the rings? Are you going to be also including vows to the children of your fiancé to pledge to be a the best mom/dad to them? Are your parents and grandparents going to be combining the soil of their birthplaces with that of yours to plant a tree? Is little Ruby going to be your canine ring bearer or flower girl? Or, is it going to be more traditional?
• Will you already have the license for signing the day of, or are you going to have a county clerk take care of this and have the officiant merely perform the ceremony for friends and family?
• Does your officiant speak any other languages? If there is a bilingual aspect where the groom's mother and father were born in Mexico and there is a poem, or other reading, that is significant to the family and upholds legacy and tradition, is the officiant going to butcher the Spanish?
• Does the officiant require a deposit to hold the date?
• Will the officiant go back to the County office to fix any errors in the paperwork? For example, if one of the witnesses makes a mistake in filing out their home address, will your officiant return to the office and make sure that it is done?
• How will you be paying the officiant (cash, Venmo, check)? Who will be paying them, and when?
• How long would you like the officiant to stick around after the wedding. Oftentimes the couple will invite the officiant to stay for the reception.
• Do you have a theme? Are you a sports fan and would you like to include logos, colors, or other symbolism of your favorite team? Are you or your fiancé a dedicated member of the Star Wars community and would you like to have quotes of the films used in the ceremony?
• Will your prospective officiant have a backup plan if they have cancel due to sickness or other issue?
• Are you interested in incorporating any element of religion into your ceremony? Are you interested in incorporating any traditional symbolism? For example, if you and/or your fiancé is Jewish-will there be a huppah and will you be stomping on the glass? Would you like the officiant to bless anything?
• Determine the amount of help that you require from the officiant.
